Knight in Shining Armor?

So to sum up quickly, things are rough for my family right now financially.  My business did not do so well this year and I am working at a job that is almost straight commission.  I have struggled with feelings of failure for the first time in my life.  I am still fighting, but I have yet to make much headway. 

To make matters worse, my wife has always taken care of our personal finances.  She pays the bills now because at one point early on in our marriage, we shared the responsibility and I made a payment, not late, but during the grace period and she had a fit.  So I let her take over.  

The problem I am now faced with is that, although I feel a certain amount of pressure to 'be the man' and provide for my family, I am still functioning and moving forward on coming up with a solution.  My wife, however, who has no means or ability to solve the problem, is stressing about the financial situation and, in my opinion, is not coping well with it.  She has been very angry at God and at the world in general.  I know because I have to hear her frequently berate God and inadvertently put me down by complaining about how bad our life sucks.  

Please do not get me wrong, my wife still has a good relationship with God, she is just angry at the moment, and because of a conversation with my uncle and brother (same person), I now assume responsibility for my wife's situation.  You see, I think I now believe in chauvinism, wholeheartedly.  I guess that depends on your definition, but yes, I do.  To me, the term chauvinism has for years meant that a man exercises undue power over a woman to make her his own personal slave and force on her all of the crappy jobs that he does not want to do.  Today my thinking has changed.  I now believe it to mean that men and women have different responsibilities within a family and society, and one of a man's responsibilities is to protect his wife and family and help them to feel safe and secure.  

Ladies and gentlemen, assuming the care of the finances of our household doesn't have to be a power grab, but instead another way that I can help my wife to feel safe and secure.  Opening doors, driving, pulling out chairs, introducing my wife to people using her name first, holding open doors and other acts of chivalry, do not have to be for the purpose of belittling the opposite gender, but instead ways to show love and respect and to protect my wife and family and help them to feel safe and secure.  

For quite some time now, I have taken responsibility for my wife being stressed.  Her constant complaints and frustrations, not my situation, have caused me to experience these feelings of failure.  Not only do I assume responsibility for her pain and suffering because of our financial situation, but also because she never had to experience the pain of working things out financially.  That is the one thing in this scenario I could have prevented.

So what do I do now?  On the way to my current dead end job, I heard a song that my wife loves, for reasons I understand much more now--I Need a Hero.  Yes, my wife needs a hero, and that is what I will be.  I am going to take on the responsibility of our personal finances as well as start driving (yes, I am even one of those pansies), opening her door, etc.  Starting today, I act like a Man, because I do love my wife and family!