Checkmate in 3 moves

If you are going to vote for me, you ought to understand a little about me. I have a simple plan to take over the world in 3 moves. When it happens though, it will all be cuddly puppies and fluffy bunnies. I am operating on the premise that the ALL nature functions on the premise of survival of the fittest. ALL nature, including humankind. Those blasted Capitalist pigs thrive on this idea. They are perfectly comfortable with the idea of the lazy, non-producers in our society being weeded out by nature. The pigs have the nerve to blame his or her failure on his or her own short comings or laziness. The ignoramuses! Don't they know it takes a whole village and they are all part of the village?!? They haven't failed society and themselves, society has failed them. Do they really think that the world would be better off without free handouts and societal leeches?



Anyway, back to survival of the fittest. What we really need to do is beat back nature and sustain every human. When we accomplish this task, we will finally achieve world peace and every soul would be happy regardless of his or her ability to contribute to society. The plan is to first control the dissemination of information; second to give everyone in the world everything they need--not want, but need; and third is to make sure people are afraid to rebel against the system. This is my plan for world domination, and in turn, world peace.



The first step is to control all information. We have to be able to control what people hear about their society so that we can tailor a feeling of despair. You see, sheep don't follow unless they see a need for a leader. I have to create in everyone's mind a feeling that there is absolutely no hope left in life unless they all follow me. I plan on doing this by fabricating a huge fear of the environment. The world is spinning wildly out of control and we will all burn up and die unless we unite under one leader who can guide us back to safety. Also, there can not be a perceived threat from any other group of humans. If a group were to be, say, terrorists, then the sheep will not trust those people and can't be on the same team as them. Finally, the people need to hear story after story of good people struggling against nature to survive but they have failed time and again by no fault of their own. The enemy--nature--has to be perceived as unconquerable without the rest of the world uniting.



The second step is to make sure everyone has what they need. Obviously, there is not enough in the world to provide for everyone in the world to have everything they want, so we must only provide what they need. This means that everyone with wealth of any form, except the leadership, has to sacrifice what they already have to provide for everyone else in the world. The leaders of course have to be able to maintain their wealth because some things are just far too difficult to liquidate or recycle and we can not waste these things. The object is to create a fat, lazy people that are incapable of revolting against the system, because let's just put it out there, Chris Farley wasn't about to attack any one if something was unfair. Granted, production will decrease, but we can dress everyone in burlap sacks, universalize health care, and put them to work in the agricultural industry producing food, which is most important. When people are busy all day working to obtain food, they stay out of trouble and are easier to control.



Last, any who rebel must be severely punished in public in order to prevent people from gaining the courage to revolt. This fear is necessary for peace. Discourage the people first, then make them sorely afraid to try and overcome the discouragement. The first generation of people will struggle with the changes, but their children will accept the new way of life, and their children will be divinely happy, with no worries or cares at all. Fear worked in the Lord/Serf social order and it worked wonders on the Children of Israel in Egypt and has for over 1500 years with Catholics, especially with the inquisition. Never has the Earth seen a happier society than the serfs, the Children of Israel, and the Aztecs under Catholic rule.



So this is my three step plan to world peace through global domination. I promise to implement this plan as President. Vote for me!



P.S. It is very scary how far along this path we have already progressed...Are you afraid to revolt?